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plot summary: DUDE! Anakin turns to the Dark Side and transforms into Darth Vader! (Should I have put a "spoiler" warning?...)
review: It's noon on Thursday afternoon. The movie opened last night at midnight, and Mike and I caught the 3:45 am showing. My breath still reeks of room temperature popcorn, and my mind is still reeling with all-things-"Star Wars". So here are some quick impressions:
what was good: • Ewan, Ewan, Ewan! Lemme tell ya, when he reads his first line, in that perfect dulcet Alec Guiness-esque voice, it still gives me chills! And, I don't know if I should thank the make-up department, the cinematographers, or just the man himself, but in this movie, the eyes play a very big part. When people go bad, their eyes get all yellow or red, and weird. And to counter-effect this, whenever the camera locks in on Ewan, his eyes! They just look so pure and so innocent and so...puppy dog!
• the fighting scenes: The opening chase scene where the Jedi are tracking down Count Dooku? The duels? Yoda against Palpatine? Obi Wan against Anakin? Mace Windu against Palpatine? Obi Wan against Grievious (sp?) with the four lightsabers? AWESOME! They're so fast-paced and brilliantly-shot, and just breathlessly exhilarating! Mike and I were both literally at the edge of our seats!
• pg-13!: So, in the past, Lucas has been accused of making the Star Wars franchise too "kiddie friendly" (See Episode I). But this is the first film in the saga that is PG-13! And as such, man, it's chilling! The violence is quite graphic. The scene where the Jedi are killed off (oh come on, if you've seen the original Star Wars movie, you already knew that happened!), but it actually made my stomach hurt! It's hard to see the "good guys" lose, and lose BIG. And holy crap, when Anakin [[kills children]]?! Holy CRAP! That was very intense.
• r2d2 kicking ass and taking names: This is something that's catching a lot of controversy with hardcore fans. Some people think it's ridiculous, and I can respect and understand that...but as for myself, I'm a big artoo fan, so to see him [[taking a more active role in the missions, even shooting and stuff]], well, I thought it was pretty awesome.
and now for what sucked bantha poodoo:
• natalie freakin' portman: That's all that needs to be said.
• the romance scenes: Still as vomit-inducing as before! When you see Padme and Anakin on screen together, do yourself a favor and chew your popcorn really loud, or use that opportunity to crack open a crinkly bag of candy. And, bring lots of candy.
• darth vader is not a friggin' emo boy: Okay, I can understand that Lucas just spent the past couple of movies painting Anakin Skywalker as a character that he wants you to relate to, but I feel that his attachment to Anakin prevented him from letting the character fully embrace the Dark Side. The whole time, he's like all wishy-washy, "Ummm, so if I do this, I can keep Padme alive forever, right? 'Cause, golly gee, I just couldn't live without her!" It's like, in Episode II, we see his actions are fueled by anger and stuff, like when he sees his mom has been killed and he goes nuts on those poor Tusken Raiders. It's wrong, but it's like, he has a *click* "moment". In Episode III, he never really has that "moment". Padme is still alive! He has one silly little nightmare, and this is the fuel that ignites him to slaughter [[younglings]]? AND! If this is his major motivator, then why isn't he more pissed at Palpatine at the end? It's like, "Okay, old man, you promised me that if I turned to the Dark Side, she'd live forever. Well, I [[just slaughtered a bunch of Jedi kids and some other innocents]] because you told me to, and, uh, she DIED!" How can Darth go from, "Noooooooooooooo!" to "Phew. Okay, I had myself a little cry, but I'm okay now. So, whatcha' building over here, Palp-y?"
• george lucas is a misogynistic jerk: "Physically, there's nothing wrong with her, she just seems to have lost the will to live..." WHAT?! Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Lucas! I understand that you're a single Dad yourself, but even though the mother of your children is like this, lemme tell you, most Moms are NOT. And, frankly, I was pissed that Padme had "no will to live" even though she just gave birth to TWO BABIES. Are you kidding me?! What kind of selfish crap is that? Oh, yeah, 'cause a woman can't be without a MAN. A woman can't raise two kids by HERSELF. This pissed me off to no end.
• needs more wookiees: Again, 'nuff said.
And that's it for me for now. (janice.05.05)
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